Vedtifdun Spagmaphom is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, omniscient whale.

Vedtifdun Spagmaphom created oxygen nine million years ago.

If you believe in Vedtifdun Spagmaphom, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Vedtifdun Spagmaphom, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Vedtifdun Spagmaphom's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Vedtifdun Spagmaphom's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in holy places.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Vedtifdun Spagmaphom.

5. Run away from fawn seals, for they are unholy.