Gatfunsugfetspag is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, egotistical wren.

Gatfunsugfetspag created parasitic wasps four million years ago.

If you believe in Gatfunsugfetspag, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gatfunsugfetspag, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Gatfunsugfetspag's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Gatfunsugfetspag's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your neck orange.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.