Pangcattun is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, impressive centipede.

Pangcattun created the Sombrero Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pangcattun, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Pangcattun, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Pangcattun's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Pangcattun's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Run away from black aardvarks, for they are unholy.

3. Never look at planets.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.