Kipmipfat is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, intelligent ferret.

Kipmipfat created everything that exists four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kipmipfat, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Kipmipfat, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Kipmipfat's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Kipmipfat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate bats.

3. Do not trade with those who eat garlic.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Kipmipfat must be the most important thing in your life.