Ragtafmetvonyogpan is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, unthinking lobster.

Ragtafmetvonyogpan created humanity four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ragtafmetvonyogpan, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Ragtafmetvonyogpan, he will refuse to believe in you.

Ragtafmetvonyogpan's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Ragtafmetvonyogpan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Ragtafmetvonyogpan.

3. Never talk about squirrels.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

5. Do not stand on grass.