Labgofart is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, conceited beaver.

Labgofart created the world nine million years ago.

If you believe in Labgofart, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Labgofart, he will boil you in a big pot.

Labgofart's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Labgofart's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from blue whales, for they are unholy.

2. Dogs are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not listen to music.