Larnkombogfighivrullyam is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, smart shark.

Larnkombogfighivrullyam created viruses three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnkombogfighivrullyam, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Larnkombogfighivrullyam, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Larnkombogfighivrullyam's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Larnkombogfighivrullyam's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your back gray.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

4. Always make sure there are no ducks in a room before entering it.

5. Do not cook food in pots.