Pakbagfet is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, thoughtless bat.

Pakbagfet created oxygen five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pakbagfet, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Pakbagfet, he will send you a sign.

Pakbagfet's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Pakbagfet's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not kill hamsters.

5. Porpoises are not to be trusted.