Bifgonpib is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, duplicitous faun.

Bifgonpib created the Milkyway six million years ago.

If you believe in Bifgonpib, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bifgonpib, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Bifgonpib's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Bifgonpib's Holy Commandments

1. Always help squirrels in need.

2. Bifgonpib must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never skip in holy places.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never talk about stars.