Monbessfeb is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, prudent grasshopper.

Monbessfeb created an atom eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Monbessfeb, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Monbessfeb, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Monbessfeb's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Monbessfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not drink water in green rooms.

3. Never paint your hands gray.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not cook food in pots.