Cimrulban is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, humane lion.

Cimrulban created the Small Magellanic Cloud six billion years ago.

If you believe in Cimrulban, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cimrulban, she will turn you into a dog.

Cimrulban's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Cimrulban's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snakes.

5. Never talk about stars.