Sigtarmid is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, passionate tapir.

Sigtarmid created a down quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Sigtarmid, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sigtarmid, she will turn you into a frog.

Sigtarmid's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Sigtarmid's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not dye your hair orange.

4. Do not shave your neck.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.