Yarditkem is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, proud lizard.

Yarditkem created a Higgs boson four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarditkem, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yarditkem, she will turn you into a rat.

Yarditkem's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Yarditkem's Holy Commandments

1. Yarditkem loves squirrels, so they must be respected.

2. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Yarditkem.

4. Never laugh in the presence of snakes.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.