Quatkamnib is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, smart snake.

Quatkamnib created water nine million years ago.

If you believe in Quatkamnib, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Quatkamnib, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Quatkamnib's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Quatkamnib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Otters are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.