Zigkembid is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, clever crow.

Zigkembid created snails nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zigkembid, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Zigkembid, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Zigkembid's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Zigkembid's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention ducks.

2. Erect five zinc sculptures of Zigkembid on top of important buildings.

3. Always help geese in need.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Run away if seven moths approach from the east.