Mabnutcem is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, calm troll.

Mabnutcem created the Black Eye Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mabnutcem, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Mabnutcem, she will turn you into a snail.

Mabnutcem's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Mabnutcem's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at nebulae.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never write about moons.

4. Never talk about seals.

5. Never wear orange hats.