Safpitdog is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, unfair bat.

Safpitdog created parasitic wasps three million years ago.

If you believe in Safpitdog, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Safpitdog, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Safpitdog's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Safpitdog's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Safpitdog.

4. Always help sick frogs.

5. Never think about amino acids.