Maparmstikyatmadpangquaf is a god.

It takes the form of a large, unselfish clam.

Maparmstikyatmadpangquaf created the solar system three million years ago.

If you believe in Maparmstikyatmadpangquaf, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Maparmstikyatmadpangquaf, it will turn you into a tree.

Maparmstikyatmadpangquaf's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Maparmstikyatmadpangquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat cherries.

2. Never think about moons.

3. Maparmstikyatmadpangquaf loves voles, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Always wear turquoise.