Milpadlen is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, stupid walrus.

Milpadlen created a bottom quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Milpadlen, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Milpadlen, she will laugh at you.

Milpadlen's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Milpadlen's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always look after injured tortoises.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Milpadlen.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.