Vonkviltaf is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, sage fox.

Vonkviltaf created a photon nine million years ago.

If you believe in Vonkviltaf, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Vonkviltaf, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Vonkviltaf's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Vonkviltaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in holy places.

2. Do not drink water in red rooms.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.