Naknillbass Quamtif is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, narcissistic crow.

Naknillbass Quamtif created a strange quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Naknillbass Quamtif, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Naknillbass Quamtif, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Naknillbass Quamtif's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Naknillbass Quamtif's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never paint your chest pink.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never jump near whales.