Gadomtlab is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, idiotic warg.

Gadomtlab created water eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gadomtlab, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gadomtlab, it will not invite you to parties.

Gadomtlab's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Gadomtlab's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never think about dark energy near sheep while wearing cyan stockings and balancing six iron spheres on your head.

3. Always wear white.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.