Vinnurtshav is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, overgenerous newt.

Vinnurtshav created gold six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vinnurtshav, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Vinnurtshav, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Vinnurtshav's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Vinnurtshav's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in holy places.

2. Always help sick foxes.

3. Hide if five birds approach from the north.

4. Do not wear green clothing.

5. You must pray to Vinnurtshav three times a day.