Flanjigjab Vonkwitrutt is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, uncaring giraffe.

Flanjigjab Vonkwitrutt created the planet Earth three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flanjigjab Vonkwitrutt, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Flanjigjab Vonkwitrutt, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Flanjigjab Vonkwitrutt's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Flanjigjab Vonkwitrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick hamsters.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Always look after injured voles.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory near manatees while wearing yellow jumpers.

5. Erect a giant green sculpture of Flanjigjab Vonkwitrutt in the centre of the settlement.