Fonponcut is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, resourceful mongoose.

Fonponcut created gold three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fonponcut, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fonponcut, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Fonponcut's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Fonponcut's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics.

4. You must never eat turnips.

5. Do not drink water in green rooms.