Lagcinmif is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, staggering mouse.

Lagcinmif created the Cigar Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lagcinmif, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Lagcinmif, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Lagcinmif's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Lagcinmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your feet mauve.

2. Lagcinmif loves badgers, so they must be respected.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never eat beans.