Cetsabfid is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, moody hyena.

Cetsabfid created snails four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cetsabfid, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cetsabfid, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Cetsabfid's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Cetsabfid's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands cyan.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always make sure there are no voles in a building before entering it.

4. Feed all hungry goats.

5. Do not eat cucumbers.