Dapkadgam is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, ill-tempered shrew.

Dapkadgam created silver seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dapkadgam, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Dapkadgam, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Dapkadgam's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Dapkadgam's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat oranges.

2. Erect four zinc sculptures of Dapkadgam on top of important buildings.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never go into white rooms.

5. Never hurt gulls.