Mitbonkmet is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, bad-tempered chinchilla.

Mitbonkmet created an up quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mitbonkmet, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mitbonkmet, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Mitbonkmet's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Mitbonkmet's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about moons.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Mitbonkmet.

4. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.

5. Never eat figs.