Govbopken Safkipbop Rulnartpog is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, blissful penguin.

Govbopken Safkipbop Rulnartpog created a top quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Govbopken Safkipbop Rulnartpog, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Govbopken Safkipbop Rulnartpog, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Govbopken Safkipbop Rulnartpog's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Govbopken Safkipbop Rulnartpog's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate foxes.

2. Do not hurt ants.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never sit near doves.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.