Stikyamnulltiksawnut is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, resourceful faun.

Stikyamnulltiksawnut created carbon four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stikyamnulltiksawnut, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Stikyamnulltiksawnut, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Stikyamnulltiksawnut's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Stikyamnulltiksawnut's Holy Commandments

1. Always help geese in need.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never eat bananas.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Never skip in holy places.