Abkarnel is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, dishonourable chinchilla.

Abkarnel created Europe five billion years ago.

If you believe in Abkarnel, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Abkarnel, it will turn you into a hamster.

Abkarnel's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Abkarnel's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear black shorts.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Always take life seriously.