Ranbetart is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, humorless gerbil.

Ranbetart created a down quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ranbetart, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Ranbetart, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Ranbetart's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Ranbetart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

2. You must never eat aubergines.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Always help snails in need.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.