Tomlogdumlapripwig is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, overgenerous pig.

Tomlogdumlapripwig created the Sombrero Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tomlogdumlapripwig, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tomlogdumlapripwig, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Tomlogdumlapripwig's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Tomlogdumlapripwig's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five turtles approach from the south.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Always help sick manatees.

4. Always treat mice with great respect.

5. Do not speak about figs.