Tarpnibcud is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, dishonourable capybara.

Tarpnibcud created humankind eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tarpnibcud, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tarpnibcud, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Tarpnibcud's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Tarpnibcud's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about electromagnetism near pigs while wearing pink trousers and balancing nine gold spheres on your hands.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always look after injured badgers.