Kartikkim is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, sapient duck.

Kartikkim created a down quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Kartikkim, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Kartikkim, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Kartikkim's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Kartikkim's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat carrots.

2. Do not speak about corn.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never think about optics near voles while wearing brown boots and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your feet.