Flowadzak is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, amazing wombat.

Flowadzak created humanity four billion years ago.

If you believe in Flowadzak, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Flowadzak, she will turn you into a snail.

Flowadzak's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Flowadzak's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Flowadzak on top of all buildings.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Put Flowadzak first in all things.

5. Flowadzak loves gulls, so they must be respected.