Zakwodkan is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, humane crocodile.

Zakwodkan created vertebrates seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zakwodkan, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Zakwodkan, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Zakwodkan's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Zakwodkan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair blue.

2. Never feed strawberries to snakes while wearing cyan coats.

3. Never feed turnips to seals while wearing ear rings.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not stand on grass.