Konontxem is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, generous hyena.

Konontxem created vertebrates three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Konontxem, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Konontxem, he will boil you in a big pot.

Konontxem's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Konontxem's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Konontxem.

2. Always help otters.

3. Never leap in the presence of moths.

4. Never talk about dark matter near doves while wearing pink stockings and balancing seven gold spheres on your legs.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.