Faggondun is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, awesome elephant.

Faggondun created tapeworms five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Faggondun, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Faggondun, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Faggondun's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Faggondun's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Faggondun.

4. Never write about planets.

5. Never think about quantum gravity near horses while wearing turquoise ear rings and balancing seven iron spheres on your arms.