Kapkabtafxuc is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unjust dingo.

Kapkabtafxuc created gold eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kapkabtafxuc, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Kapkabtafxuc, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Kapkabtafxuc's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Kapkabtafxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Kapkabtafxuc.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Kapkabtafxuc loves eagles, so they must be respected.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.