Futwaning is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, unsympathetic giraffe.

Futwaning created a Higgs boson three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Futwaning, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Futwaning, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Futwaning's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Futwaning's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Futwaning six times a day.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Futwaning loves swans, so they must be respected.

5. Always stare at clouds.