Vogstragcib is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, omnipotent crab.

Vogstragcib created a bottom quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Vogstragcib, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Vogstragcib, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Vogstragcib's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Vogstragcib's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat cucumbers.

2. Hide from white pigs for they are unholy.

3. Always wear green.

4. Never skip in holy places.

5. Hide if four moths approach from the east.