Battoflikgenomtsugsak is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, fast crab.

Battoflikgenomtsugsak created a charm quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Battoflikgenomtsugsak, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Battoflikgenomtsugsak, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Battoflikgenomtsugsak's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Battoflikgenomtsugsak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not hurt sharks.

4. Do not kill goats.

5. Do not speak about figs.