Jatsitcat is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, weak narwhal.

Jatsitcat created parasitic wasps eight million years ago.

If you believe in Jatsitcat, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Jatsitcat, he will manifest in front of you.

Jatsitcat's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Jatsitcat's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear hats.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not kill ducks.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.