Cidquagcen is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, unselfish octopus.

Cidquagcen created Africa three billion years ago.

If you believe in Cidquagcen, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Cidquagcen, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Cidquagcen's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Cidquagcen's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never write about thermodynamics.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Dolphins are not to be trusted.