Gettalsomguplatgub is a god.

She takes the form of a large, contented cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Gettalsomguplatgub created a strange quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gettalsomguplatgub, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gettalsomguplatgub, she will try to impress you with trees.

Gettalsomguplatgub's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Gettalsomguplatgub's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gettalsomguplatgub.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Run away if five monkeys approach from the south.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.