Sawstafspag is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, duplicitous salamander.

Sawstafspag created an up quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sawstafspag, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Sawstafspag, she will remove you from existence.

Sawstafspag's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Sawstafspag's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never think about planets.