Nelmincem is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, self-assured dog.

Nelmincem created the Large Magellanic Cloud three billion years ago.

If you believe in Nelmincem, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Nelmincem, it will be very unhappy.

Nelmincem's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Nelmincem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Nelmincem loves capybaras, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not trade with those who eat bread.

4. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

5. Never pour water over plants.