Yakzakraw is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, amazing pigeon.

Yakzakraw created the Small Magellanic Cloud six billion years ago.

If you believe in Yakzakraw, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yakzakraw, it will turn you into a rock.

Yakzakraw's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Yakzakraw's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never eat figs.

3. Run away if four monkeys approach from the east.

4. Learn nine new languages a year.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity near grasshopers while wearing purple shoes and balancing six titanium spheres on your face.